Adult intimate hookup
Students (adults too, but Wade focuses on college campuses) feel compelled to engage not just in sex for sex sake, but to relate to their partners in an enormously unhealthy way.She reports that students say they are “depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed” in part because of the additional pressure and emotional toll of forcing themselves to treat partners poorly to prove that their sexual activity is string-free.“One in three students say that their intimate relationships have been ‘traumatic’ or ‘very difficult to handle,’ and 10 percent say that they’ve been sexually coerced or assaulted in the past year,” Wade writes.Of course it’s easier to take advantage of someone who is already feeling the pressure to comply, and both partners are affected by the messages of hookup culture which say they shouldn’t care about one another; quite the contrary, in fact, they are expected to incorporate behaviors that are rather mean, and which leave both feeling insecure and unsatisfied.“[T]here is a persistent malaise: a deep, indefinable disappointment,” Wade explains.
Reading it felt like reading an explanation of my own romantic history.Her friends smirk, not looking up.“Tinder sucks,” they say. At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers.They are Dan, Alex, and Marty, budding investment bankers at the same financial firm, which recruited Alex and Marty straight from an Ivy League campus.You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. Crew; senior at Parsons; junior at Pace; works in finance …It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”He says that he himself has slept with five different women he met on Tinder—“Tinderellas,” the guys call them—in the last eight days. ”“We don’t know what the girls are like,” Marty says.“And they don’t know us,” says Alex.