Jessicas guide to dating on the dark

” ― “If I were a vampire, I'd want to bite someone.

Armed with newfound confidence and a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire’s Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions, Jessica makes a dramatic transition from average American teenager to glam European vampire princess.

It's quite a hysteria- and the evergreen trees are not just a myth, Vasile.

You sounded ecstatic.” ― “December is celebrated quite heartily here in the United States. Every conceivable space is corseted with strands of twinkle lights, buildings are smothered beneath greenery, and a mass mania for erecting oversized, inflatable, waving "snowmen" in front of homes erupts amid the populace. Imagine paying for the privilege of dragging a filthy piece of forest into your living area for the purpose of bedecking it with glass balls and staring at it. If one needed to display glass balls-and I highly discorage it-why not just a case of some sort?

"I grow weary of your ignorance." He moved closer to me, leaning down and peering into my eyes. I jammed the pitchfork in the general direction of his foot and ran like hell for the house, ignoring his yowl of pain. The vampire thing was a ridiculous fantasy, but my total lack of experience .

One should never confuse fashionable with beautiful. "Some of us are starting to wonder.""I come from civilization," Lucius retorted. Now pick up the books.” ― “Lucius paused, turning on his heel to face me.

I jammed the pitchfork in the general direction of his foot and ran like hell for the house, ignoring his yowl of pain.” ― “Lucius needs you. "He is not going to bite me," I interrupted, pointing a shaky finger at Lucius. I don't care what kind of 'betrothal ceremony' they had!

” ― “But Lucius was staring at the beamed ceiling of the barn, pacing around, hands clasped behind his back, muttering to himself. I've brought you a book— a guide, so to speak—which will explain everything—" I stood up so fast my chair tipped over, smashing to the floor. ""Because...because he's so tall," Mindy explained, like height was proof of good character. Could you, perhaps, have one of the local women fashion a crude poppet out of, say, a wooden spool and some scraps of wool? Aesthetic standars for this particular collection were not high, believe me.

"Allow me to do at least one common courtesy for you. But I never had the impulse to read it, mainly because I was thrown by the cover-art and title.The cover image of (what looks to me to be) a 13-year-old girl just screamed ‘tween’ rather than ‘teen’, and did not appeal.I have to admit that if I hadn’t received this book from the publisher to review, I probably would have never read it.I had seen it floating around; sitting on the shelf at Borders and on the blogosphere.

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