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There are apps, of course, but I think we all agree those are mostly a waste of time.

It pains me to admit this, but if you want to meet someone, you have to work at it. You know where you met someone to knock boots with? At Soul Cycle/the coffee shop you go to every day/your favorite wine bar/etc.He was married now and no longer had to be “chosen.” But habits ingrained in adolescence can be hard to break. I hadn’t thought about why that was, but when some brown and black people in my community started giving me a hard time about dating white women, I sensed they’d be happier if I stopped.So early on I learned how important it was to be “chosen,” selected. It’s been a year since I broke up with my girlfriend, and I haven’t told her the real reason. I also got weird vibes from some white people, namely the parents of the women I was dating.It’s because in today’s hashtag-woke society, there is mad pressure to be hashtag-woke.To be aware of the implications of whom you’re attracted to and why.

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Like my pops said, “Maybe they’ll choose you.”It’s a message amplified by movies and TV, from “Save the Last Dance” to “Master of None” and dozens of other narratives that all feature, in one way or another, a black or brown man being made better from being with a white woman. An aspiration to “better the race” has always been a thing. And also, I mean, a lot of white women are really cool. Ah, man, this isn’t going where I wanted it to — )Anyway, this is me yearning, praying, journaling, writing, dialoguing, putting up a one-man show, wishing, trying to pick a side, wondering how to choose myself and trying to wrap my head around this, hoping that I’m doing woke right, because something just doesn’t feel right.

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